Inspiration for an updated Home Alone

According to the Birmingham News, two young men in the Birmingham (that's Alabama) area targeted homeowners in upscale neighborhoods based on when they updated their FaceBook accounts that they'd be out of town.

I can see it now: an updated Home Alone where the crooks are lured by the McCallister family's FaceBook announcement that they're all going to [insert popular family vacation destination here] for their summer vacation. Unfortunately, one precocious child is left behind. The real kicker is that Macaulay Culkin will either reprise his role as eight-year old Kevin McCalister, or he can return as the father (either a grown-up Kevin or taking on the role of the original father while the beloved child character continues his pranks and signature shocked expression) who sees the other side of the family drama as he is now the father of an abandoned child. If he plays a grown-up Kevin, we could even get a touching Hollywood moment where the father and son make one final trap for the crooks, thus ensuring a parent-child bonding experience that was absent at the beginning of the movie.

*sighs* It's a great cautionary tale about the dangers of making your profile -- and thus your life -- too public on the internet. Because if you're not careful, Hollywood can -- and will -- bring Home Alone back to punish you for your ways.

Oh, Alice!

The trailer for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is finally available on IMDB at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi4240966169. The release date is set for March 5, 2010.

Here's a trailer for the upcoming adaptation entitled Malice in Wonderland, which still has the vague release date of "some time in 2009":




In this version of the tale, Alice is an American student studying in England who is hit by a cab and wakes up in a very different world.

Also rumored to be released in September 2009 is Malice in Lalaland. It's not for everyone, of course. It might not even be for me. Then again, it might...

The following educational short was released last year:

Malice In Wonderland: The Red Queen Theory from Ed Watkins on Vimeo.

In the preceding film Ed Watkins draws on Matt Ridley's The Red Queen Theory and its assumptions on sexuality, psychology, biology, and evolution and combines it with an Alice in Wonderland theme to explain the relationship between parasites and hosts. The Red Queen Theory is itself based on the character in Through the Looking Glass because of her statement of how it was necessary for them to run so fast just to stay in the same place (similar to how we constantly reproduce and evolve/adapt in order to recombine genes and maintain the stability/survival of our species, or so the theory goes).

It's true that there's an adaption of Lewis Carroll's stories every five years or so, but with so many coming out in such a short period, this is certainly one of the best times for someone to cultivate their obsession...er, I mean interest...in all things Alice.

Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome (ANSD)

You can read a summary of this lecture on the reality of the zombie affliction known as ANSD here.

Monster Mash

Some experts are actually calling it monster lit (try here, here, and here for starters), but I like Gabe's suggestion of "monster mashup" and feel that a more accurate description would be mashup monster lit, or perhaps monster mashup lit (now that has a nice ring to it!). After all, monster lit could refer to so many types of literature involving monsters, but there's no mistaking what a mashup involves.

What am I talking about, exactly? Oh, it's this new trend where authors (and soon Hollywood) take public domain stories and throw in zombies, vampires, and all sorts of other creatures to turn classic novels into all-new sci-fi, thriller, and horror tales.

The genre really took off with the publishing of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies this year, but it's certainly not the only title available (or soon to be available) on the market.

Unfortunately, there are also a lot of "re-imaginings" of history and classic novels -- but with zombies, demons, and other monsters thrown in for good measure -- getting lumped in with these mashup monster lit pieces. Examples include A.E. Moorat's Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter, which to my knowledge does not contain any mashups of actual novels; it just recasts Queen Victoria as "an ass-kicking killer of evil creatures." The thing is that these mashups take a lot of work and skill that's quite different from simply rewriting history or writing a quirky new sequel that picks up where a classic left off (though I certainly don't mean to minimalize the effort put into such books as QVDH, since no writing process is truly "simple").

If this writing process took no talent/effort at all, then you wouldn't get Austen and classic literature fans raving about these new books. So, kudos to companies like Krisostomus for relegating these other books to historical fiction and to Publishers Weekly for lumping them in creepy fiction and other such categories, where they belong.

(Actually, I want to take back that comment about these other books "simply" rewriting history; they do what all good historical fictions do, which is to take real people or events and add in imaginary characters or events to create a new story. In fact, I'm looking forward to Grahame-Smith's next book, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.)

But the fact of the matter remains that those books employ different writing devices than the mashups, so maybe I'll compile a different list of those other books later.

Here's a list of monster lit mashups, complete with descriptions and links when available:

Already Available

The War of the Worlds Plus Blood, Guts and Zombies by H.G. Wells and Eric S. Brown, published by Coscom Entertainment; available since 4/30/2009. Earth's inhabitants find themselves facing not only the newly arrived Martian invaders, but legions of their own undead compatriots as well. Considering Mr. Brown's extensive list of books in the horror genre, particularly regarding zombies, I'm surprised this one hasn't gotten more popularity, and so far as I can find is the true "father" of mashup monster lit (unless I can find an older book by a more respected author, of course).

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith, published by Quirk Books; available since 6/01/2009. Characters from Jane Austen's original novel face zombies when a mysterious plague brings Meryton's dead back to life. Keep your eyes peeled, because a deluxe edition will be available in November; according to the website, it features many more illustrations and "30% MORE...ultra-violent zombie mahem [sic]." You can read excerpts of the book here.

Adventuresof Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim: Mark Twain's Classic with Crazy Zombie Goodness by Mark Twain and W. Bill Czolgosz, published by Coscom Entertainment; available since 07/10/2009. I glanced over the first few pages of this book in the preview on Amazon's website, and I was not impressed; the mashup author seemed to have recast all the black characters as zombies, which made me nervous as to the racial connotations involved. On the other hand, this in itself was a genius device since the passage where the widow talks about mulattoes ends up describing her reaction to the usefulness of those who were merely half-zombie. Hopefully the plot thickens (so they say) as the story advances.

Coming Soon

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, by Jane Austen and Ben Winters, published by Quirk Books; release date 9/15/2009. More of Austen's characters interact with otherworldly creatures; in this version of the tale Colonel Brandon is a sea monster. You can find a more detailed description, with excerpts from the book, here.

Iam Scrooge: A Zombie Story for Christmas, by Adam Roberts, published by Golancz; release date 10/2009. It's unclear from the description whether this is a true mashup or a mere retelling of the classic Dickens novel; however, because it seems to contain so many of the original characters and plot points (even going so far as to suggest that Tiny Tim's mystery illness was part of the zombie plague) I'm including it here.

Well, and that's pretty much it for now, but hopefully I can find more titles soon; unfortunately, so many aren't available to read yet, and I really don't want to classify any as mashups when so many, on closer inspection, are actually sequels or retellings.

Links:
http://poesdeadlydaughters.blogspot.com/2009/03/monster-lit.html
http://www.wunderkabinett.co.uk/damndata/index.php?/archives/1704-Monster-lit-Jane-Austen-vs-Predator-vs-Zombies.html
http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=14550
http://www.myspace.com/summitplanet
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mashup_(music)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_and_Prejudice_and_Zombies
http://www.kriso.ee/Queen-Victoria-Demon-Hunter/db/9781444700268.html?id=4ZfS4TvT
http://austenprose.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/jane-austen-goes-paranormal-%E2%80%93-author-janet-mullany-chats-about-austen-and-vampires/
http://poesdeadlydaughters.blogspot.com/2009/03/monster-lit.html
http://janitesonthejames.blogspot.com/2009/07/which-pride-and-prejudice-and-zombies.html
http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6568141.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/books/14arts-MOVEOVERJANE_BRF.html
http://www.amazon.com/Worlds-Plus-Blood-Guts-Zombies/dp/1897217919/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1248375412&sr=8-3
http://www.myspace.com/esbrown4
http://irreference.com/pride-and-prejudice-and-zombies/
http://irreference.com/pride-and-prejudice-and-zombies-deluxe-heirloom-edition/
http://irreference.com/pride-and-prejudice-and-zombies-chapters-1-3/
http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Huckleberry-Finn-Zombie-Jim/dp/1897217978/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248375412&sr=8-1
http://irreference.com/sense-and-sensibility-and-sea-monsters/
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/jul/15/austen-sea-monster-mashup
http://www.amazon.com/I-Scrooge-Zombie-Story-Christmas/dp/0575091541

Never Trust a Corpse

Here's the trailer for I Sell the Dead:






Starting August 11th you can get more details on the movie from Fangoria.

Also, I hear there will be a new Twilight Zone movie.

Oh, happy day.

The Only Thing Scarier Than an Indigo Child...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wednesdays -- Not Just for Humping Anymore

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g116/emiesmom/Week/wednesday1star.gif

Apparently not everyone looks forward to Wednesday as the mid-point of the work-week anymore, according to a study in the journal Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology.

The study, conducted by Augustine Kposowa (University of California Department of Sociology) and Stephanie D'aura, studied suicide rates from 2000-2004 all over the United States. The goal was to find any relationship between "temporal" factors like day of the week and season of the year.

Surprisingly, the study found a much higher incidence of suicide on Wednesday (24.6%) than any other day of the week -- in fact, they were 99% more likely to occur on Wednesday than on Sunday!


Here's an actual chart from the study:

As you can see, Wednesday suicides are almost double nearly every other day of the week. Why is that?

Kposowa suggested in this MSNBC article that work stress may play a heavy role in this trend. I mean, think about it: you're on your third day of this damn commute, your annoying coworkers (not to mention that one particular crazy bitch who keeps pissing you off), your asshole of a boss...and don't even get me started on the kids and their last minute projects, after-school sports/band/glee club practice, parent-teacher conferences, etc...bills that are due before payday...that spouse/significant other who just won't pick up his pants off your livingroom floor and expects you to get his good shirt drycleaned for an important meeting tomorrow -- never mind the fact that you have projects of your own...

...Okay, I'm getting off track here, sorry...

The point is that everything seems to come to a head on Wednesday, of all days (and certainly not on Mondays, which is typically the most depressing day in the songwriting world). And the weekend (and any hope of a reprieve from it all) still seems so far away. So for someone who's already thinking about suicide, this overwhelming stress can be all it takes to push them into action.

http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w202/AmberBytchbucket/thirsty%20thursday/thursday.gif

Why the sudden drop on Thursday? Well, I think that's pretty obvious if you accept the assumption mentioned above. By Thursday you've survived most of the week. Just one more day to go, and heck -- if it's really that bad, you can just start your weekend early.

How the internet and technology are fucking with suicide
trends

This study showed some major deviations from previous assumptions and findings regarding suicide trends. The first, of course, is that traditionally suicides were found to occur more frequently on weekends.

The second trend is that, contrary to previous findings that suicide rates increase in the winter, this study saw that -- if any seasons stood out at all -- suicides were lowest in the winter and highest in the summer.

Again, a chart pulled straight from the study:

No, the steadily increasing obesity rates aren't causing people to take the easy way out in avoiding swimsuit season.

Why, then, are suicides lower in the winter than in summer?

Again, Kposowa has a theory: email, social networking sites, and all those other annoying technological advances that intrude on my life (and yours too, no doubt) actually help people maintain a sense of connection with the outside world. They feel less isolated during those months when no one's going out because it's too cold. And where does everyone go? Why, straight to MySpace and other social networking sites, of course!

The same theory holds true for the weekend -- all those lonely people flock to social networking sites from Friday evening to early Monday morning, where they find mutual comfort in the cold, unloving arms of the internet and the artificial, asocial interaction it provides.

How this will impact your social networking comment postings

Don't put away those sexy images just yet, and don't abandon your pursuit of a really sweet sexual harassment lawsuit, folks.

http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee42/ApacheLee2k/hump_day.jpg

This is just one study -- one single study that refutes years of research on suicide trends. Yes, this could indicate a new trend in suicidal tendencies, but more studies are definitely needed before we replace those sexy hump day images with suicide hotline notices.

Which is a shame, because I'd rather see some creative suicide prevention comments.

Just because it's Wednesday...

Hey, call me if you get lonely,
ok?

Links from the blog:

http://www.springerlink.com/content/d236q44ut3582v91/fulltext.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31780455/ns/health-mental_health/?ns=health-mental_health
http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/trends.html

Gaffney, SC: Serial Killer Capital of the World?

No, not hardly. They're only on their second string of serial murders in less than a half century.

Of course, not many people are aware of that, what with all the media frenzy surrounding the recent bout of celebrity deaths and political scandals. North Korea launches missile tests like crazy and Iranian clerics denounce the election, yet this major international news is barely noticed as the media continue to report that Michael Jackson is still, in fact, quite dead (This man is no more! He has ceased to exist!) and that -- big shock here -- politicians cheat on their wives and misappropriate funds.

I guess, then, there's no chance of any real coverage of a string of murders in a town of less than 13,000 people.

Not even if they had two murders during all of 2007 and absolutely no murders in 2006? Why, they've had more murders in the past two weeks alone than they did over the past several years.

Even more interesting is the fact that this is not the first time this tiny town has been the scene of a string of murders that met the FBI's definition for a serial killer. In 1968 police arrested a man named Lee Roy Martin, aka the Gaffney
Strangler, who murdered four people and had even begun taunting police and the local papers with letters promising he'd kill more if he wasn't caught. He later died in prison (or did he? -- http://www.switchplates.netfirms.com/).

Maybe if this new killer were strangling his/her victims the media wouldn't be able to ignore it. This would be far too sensational -- a copycat serial killer. It's the stuff movies are made of...maybe the illegitimate child of Martin, or perhaps a split personality of a victim's sister who could never quite process what happened.

*sigh* This should be a huge story. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, and countless AP, Reuters, and local news agencies should be camped out in Gaffney...interviewing "witnesses" to the current murders and the ones from 40 years ago, confusing the facts, reporting on every tidbit of gossip or conjecture they can get their hands on, frightening the townsfolk even more than they already are....

...then again, maybe it's better this way. The killer doesn't get the attention he's likely after and what little is actually reported has been verified and isn't just the latest gossip "reported here first." Yes, let these people suffer through this in peace. The FBI is involved, as are local law enforcement. They're not alone.

For some interesting coverage on the Gaffney Strangler:

Lee Roy Martin

Sister of Gaffney Strangler victim

Coverage on the July shootings:

Murder Timeline

Links to the latest news

More breaking news updates

The Gaffney Ledger

Armchair detectives following the recent murders



Update!!
Authorities believe they killed the Gaffney Shooter. My work, it seems, is done.