Eagle vs. Shark (2007)

Eh, it was another one of those indie movies about socially awkward people experiencing some fairly daily events. Nerds fall in and out of love, seek revenge on bullies, deal with dysfunctional families, etc.


http://media.apn.co.nz/webcontent/image/jpg/Eagle230.jpg

It had some God-awful hilarious moments. I probably wouldn't have watched it normally if it hadn't been for the fact that I needed a movie just interesting enough to get my mind off a recent trauma, but boring enough that I might not care if I fell asleep before the end.

Luckily, I didn't fall asleep and managed to stay up for all the awkward goofiness. And unlike with some movies in this same vein (Napoleon Dynamite is one that comes to mind), I stayed interested enough in other people's trivial lives to forget about the horrors that had just befallen my petty life.

You might be wondering what could possibly have happened in my boring little life that could leave me so upset...

It was a spider.

For those of you who aren't aware, I used to have a pretty strong fear of spiders. When I was a teenager it probably could have been classified as a legitimate phobia, as my fear of spiders and almost any bug that bites or stings did severely impact my life. Luckily, I worked through a lot of that, and I only mildly embarrass myself if a bee or wasp flies near.

As for spiders, we've established an uneasy truce: if they stay out of sight, I won't worry about them. I won't do preventative spraying (I hate chemical pesticides), but if a spider comes out in the open he is fair game.

The other night I saw a spider on my bedroom wall. It was just a few inches from where I was laying, reading a book. The damn thing caught me off guard and I froze just long enough for him to escape. When I pulled my bed away from the wall I didn't see him, but I did find a very fresh spiderweb (I spent two days last week moving every piece of furniture in my room to ensure I'd vacuumed everywhere and removed any pests before I moved into my mom's basement). I sprayed thoroughly behind my bed and set out to find something to get my mind off of how many other spiders might be lurking just out of sight, when I found this movie.

Now, here's the thing I want you to understand. One spider would not likely elicit this kind of paranoia from me; I have been killing, on average, close to a spider a day since I moved back to my mom's house. These range from small spiders to ones so big that you can hear them walking and they make an audible "thud" when they hit the ground.

I've been on edge for weeks. To lighten the situation I've made jokes. The first spider I killed was one of those gigantic ones, and I've been saying that he was the leader of the group and the subsequent spiders are minions dispatched to avenge his dishonorable death. He's sent big guns to intimidate me, stealthy ninja assassins, and even child soldiers like the tiny one I found in my blanket the other night. There was even an "aerial assault" as some strange flying bug has set up residence in my room (I'll get him eventually, too).

Eh, what's a girl to do? We live in a rural area, so spiders are a pretty common occurrence here. To make matters worse, this is just one of those times of year when we see more of them in the house than usual. As I unpack, clean and rearrange in the basement, I'll gradually get rid of them, though I'll probably end up flushing many more out into the open in the process. It's the way things go. In the meantime, I'm glad I have premium movie channels and a growing DVD collection so I can wile away the hours watching goofy, off-the-wall movies like Eagle vs. Shark to get my mind off the problem at hand.