Another Blonde Moment

I used to think the only dumb blondes were the ones whose brains had been damaged from all that bleach and hair dye. As I got older I realized that even true blondes, like myself, have really dumb moments; maybe it's because we get a "pass" on having true responsibility or because people really do hold us to lower standards -- I don't know. Yeah, blondes can (and often do) have more fun, but as an endangered minority (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2284783.stm) I think we should be given special protections -- scholarships, minority status, etc -- that are provided to other so-called minority groups that are in less danger of extinction, and who are certainly not overwhelmingly seen as inherently stupid or morally deficient anymore.

But I digress.

I was having trouble with my new flashdrive yesterday -- I could save an initial copy of a file and access all my files, but I couldn't save any changes; I kept getting the error message that the disk was either full or write-protected. Now, I just got this flashdrive, and a simple check confirmed that I had almost complete available memory. If the drive was write-protected, this could mean only one thing: the files were corrupted and my flashdrive is broken, probably beyond repair.

Now, let me tell you about this flashdrive, 'cause I think it's the steal of the century. It's made by Nextar, and it's a flashdrive/voice recorder/mp3 player/FM tuner, and it has 1GB storage -- and I got it for about $20 at Wal-Mart. I don't know a whole lot about technological gizmos, but I think it's fucking awesome.

Not if it's broke, though. If the drive is broken, it just becomes a walkman. I don't need a walkman, I need a flashdrive -- I take online classes and I travel a lot, so I need a portable storage device for my homework.

So here's where the dumb blonde moment comes in. A lot of techie devices that run on batteries have a "hold" switch to keep the device from turning on when it's in your backpack so the batteries don't drain down. I'm a firm believer in not wasting batteries (or of wasting in general), so I switched the "hold" button on when I packed it with my other things. And because the ultra-thin barely-comprehensible owner's manual didn't warn me, I had no idea that this would not keep me from accessing files, but it would prevent me from making changes to the drive. After a lot of research on write-protection and this USB in particular, and changing batteries and trying to reformat the disk and just about anything I could think of, I was about ready to throw this piece of crap in the trash.

That's when I took a close look at my new toy and noticed the "hold" switch again. Sure enough, I was able to access my files and make changes to them, too. Ah, I love my new flashdrive!

A Lifetime of Crap

Frank Warren has a new book out called A Lifetime of Secrets. He got tons of people to send him stories or secrets they've never told anyone else, and now he's making money off the book. Hey, why don't you pour your heart out to me so I can make money off your secrets -- how lazy is that?

Better yet, do it: tell me all your dirty little secrets. I'll post them right here, for free.

Craig for President

I don't mean to keep harping on Senator Craig. I have nothing against people who are gay, people who won't come out of the closet, people who are gay but get married to women and have families and generally pretend they're not gay, or people who simply aren't gay but sometimes get accused of it.

I don't even have anything against people who disapprove of other people being gay, as long as they don't try to push their lifestyle choices on other people.

I don't even have that much of a problem with people getting caught soliciting sex in men's bathrooms. Personally, I don't think the men's room is a very sexy place, but...to each his (or her) own.

What I do have a problem with is people who don't keep their word, or who word things in such a way that they can later say, "What I said was..."

I was watching Peter Pan (the Disney version) with my daughter this weekend, and realized how much Captain Hook reminds me of Senator Craig -- not his inappropriate obsession with young boys, mind you, but his willingness to bend the truth to his own gain. Sure, Captain Hook won't lay a finger (or a hook) on Peter Pan, but he will send the boy who never grew up a bomb; likewise, Senator Craig may have intended to resign at the end of last month, but now he's decided to serve the remainder of his term.

So, let's get our story straight, Senator Craig. First, you intend to resign at the end of September. Then, you decide that you'll try this legal maneuver based on arguments that the average American citizen could not even hope to try, and that a United States senator should not have been ignorant enough to fall victim to -- and then, if it is not resolved at the end of the month, you'll resign. The judge won't make his decision till the first week in October? No harm staying in office a few more days to find out the ruling, right?

But here's the kicker: the judge denied your motion. Your perfectly legal, not-given-under-duress guilty plea stands. An honorable man would abide by his word and step down -- for the good of his state and for the good of his party -- but you've decided to serve the remainder of your term.

At least you promise not to run for that office again. So what's next? Governor of Idaho? I hear his political reputation is marred by his support of a certain scandalous politician. Chairman of GOP? They're probably looking for anyone who can grab headlines. President of the United States? Hey, we've seen worse...

What was I thinking, saying what an honorable man would do in your position? An honorable man would never solicit sex in a men's bathroom!