Craig for President

I don't mean to keep harping on Senator Craig. I have nothing against people who are gay, people who won't come out of the closet, people who are gay but get married to women and have families and generally pretend they're not gay, or people who simply aren't gay but sometimes get accused of it.

I don't even have anything against people who disapprove of other people being gay, as long as they don't try to push their lifestyle choices on other people.

I don't even have that much of a problem with people getting caught soliciting sex in men's bathrooms. Personally, I don't think the men's room is a very sexy place, but...to each his (or her) own.

What I do have a problem with is people who don't keep their word, or who word things in such a way that they can later say, "What I said was..."

I was watching Peter Pan (the Disney version) with my daughter this weekend, and realized how much Captain Hook reminds me of Senator Craig -- not his inappropriate obsession with young boys, mind you, but his willingness to bend the truth to his own gain. Sure, Captain Hook won't lay a finger (or a hook) on Peter Pan, but he will send the boy who never grew up a bomb; likewise, Senator Craig may have intended to resign at the end of last month, but now he's decided to serve the remainder of his term.

So, let's get our story straight, Senator Craig. First, you intend to resign at the end of September. Then, you decide that you'll try this legal maneuver based on arguments that the average American citizen could not even hope to try, and that a United States senator should not have been ignorant enough to fall victim to -- and then, if it is not resolved at the end of the month, you'll resign. The judge won't make his decision till the first week in October? No harm staying in office a few more days to find out the ruling, right?

But here's the kicker: the judge denied your motion. Your perfectly legal, not-given-under-duress guilty plea stands. An honorable man would abide by his word and step down -- for the good of his state and for the good of his party -- but you've decided to serve the remainder of your term.

At least you promise not to run for that office again. So what's next? Governor of Idaho? I hear his political reputation is marred by his support of a certain scandalous politician. Chairman of GOP? They're probably looking for anyone who can grab headlines. President of the United States? Hey, we've seen worse...

What was I thinking, saying what an honorable man would do in your position? An honorable man would never solicit sex in a men's bathroom!