Disclaimer
I go to a lot of effort to make sure I give other people proper credit when I borrow their ideas, stories, images, etc. Please give me that same courtesy.
All posts dated prior to July 30, 2009 are taken whole or in part from my more extensive MySpace blog. If you have a MySpace profile feel free to send me a friend request to get full access to my blogs there.
All posts dated prior to July 30, 2009 are taken whole or in part from my more extensive MySpace blog. If you have a MySpace profile feel free to send me a friend request to get full access to my blogs there.
January 31, 2008
January 8, 2008
Is That a Fetish in Your Pants, or are You Just Happy to See Me?
Few things irritate me more than someone who uses the wrong psychological disorder in an attempt to be clever. Sweetheart, you're not clever -- you're ignorant at best, but most likely I'm walking away with the general impression that you're a moron. Don't say schizophrenic when what you really mean is multiple personality disorder. For God's sake, if you want someone to think you're smart, don't continually interchange unrelated terms like schizophrenia with bipolar disorder.
And whatever you do, don't say you have a fetish when what you really mean is you have an unusual sexual proclivity; I talked to a guy a few weeks back who kept going on about this one particular "fetish" he had, and all I could do was keep reminding him what a fetish was, that he didn't actually have one, and that if he did it really wasn't something to brag about. A fetish is not a sign of your sexual prowess, talents, or virility. Fetishes are symptoms of a serious type of mental disorder.
Fetishism is diagnosed when you have a strong, and often uncontrollable, urge to fantasize about an object or include it in your sexual activities; often, you may be unable to perform at all without the item. Many of the activities you may think are abnormal are actually quite ordinary (in my opinion), but because discussing sex is so taboo, most of us are not aware of this.
Here are some general guidelines:
You like having sex in cars or in other "inappropriate" public places
If the occasional thrill of getting caught, or if being in the backseat of a 50s model car really gets your juices flowing, you might just be more adventurous than most. If your idea of a hot date is to have sex in a 1958 Cadillac convertible, and no other car will do, you might be a little too picky. But if you can't have sex at all unless you're in an automobile, or pretending to be in one, then yeah -- you have a fetish.
Body Parts
If you're an ass man, breast man, or you got turned on once when your girlfriend painted her toenails pink, you're a visual person, but that's ok. If the only thing that turns you on is the sight of her toes all dolled up, then maybe you should check this out.
Food
If you like including food in your activities, you're probably just creative. If you get really turned on by the thought of a popsicle, but have an otherwise normal sex life, you might want to get to know this guy. But if you find yourself uncontrollably drawn to the milkshake mixing machine at Burger King, please get help.
S&M
A little pain never hurt anyone, and some light bondage can be very liberating; but technically speaking, most people who seriously classify themselves as sadists or masochists are fetishists.
I hope this clears things up for some of you.
Please, don't detail your fetishes and/or unusual sexual proclivities to me. I don't really want to know you that well.
And whatever you do, don't say you have a fetish when what you really mean is you have an unusual sexual proclivity; I talked to a guy a few weeks back who kept going on about this one particular "fetish" he had, and all I could do was keep reminding him what a fetish was, that he didn't actually have one, and that if he did it really wasn't something to brag about. A fetish is not a sign of your sexual prowess, talents, or virility. Fetishes are symptoms of a serious type of mental disorder.
Fetishism is diagnosed when you have a strong, and often uncontrollable, urge to fantasize about an object or include it in your sexual activities; often, you may be unable to perform at all without the item. Many of the activities you may think are abnormal are actually quite ordinary (in my opinion), but because discussing sex is so taboo, most of us are not aware of this.
Here are some general guidelines:
You like having sex in cars or in other "inappropriate" public places
If the occasional thrill of getting caught, or if being in the backseat of a 50s model car really gets your juices flowing, you might just be more adventurous than most. If your idea of a hot date is to have sex in a 1958 Cadillac convertible, and no other car will do, you might be a little too picky. But if you can't have sex at all unless you're in an automobile, or pretending to be in one, then yeah -- you have a fetish.
Body Parts
If you're an ass man, breast man, or you got turned on once when your girlfriend painted her toenails pink, you're a visual person, but that's ok. If the only thing that turns you on is the sight of her toes all dolled up, then maybe you should check this out.
Food
If you like including food in your activities, you're probably just creative. If you get really turned on by the thought of a popsicle, but have an otherwise normal sex life, you might want to get to know this guy. But if you find yourself uncontrollably drawn to the milkshake mixing machine at Burger King, please get help.
S&M
A little pain never hurt anyone, and some light bondage can be very liberating; but technically speaking, most people who seriously classify themselves as sadists or masochists are fetishists.
I hope this clears things up for some of you.
Please, don't detail your fetishes and/or unusual sexual proclivities to me. I don't really want to know you that well.
January 6, 2008
Some Advice
Never get Involved with a Married Man
(or Woman)
(or Woman)
Unless you're married to them, in which case you should make it a point to get with them frequently -- intimacy is an important part of relationships, so don't get lazy! And if you're married, then don't get involved with someone you're not married to, 'cause you never know what that crazy bitch might do to get back at you when you go crawlin' back to your wife.
Don't Pick Your Nose too Hard
Once you hit brain, you can't go back.
Follow Your Heart
Unless it violates one of the aforementioned rules.
Well, that's all I have right now. Anyone have any suggestions?
January 3, 2008
I Found My Soulmate Online and You Can, Too!
Well, as a single mom I've learned that dating is tough. To make matters worse, since I take my classes online and don't have to leave my house to go to work, I don't get out much. Some weeks the only time I go out is to do my grocery shopping -- and trust me, when I'm juggling two kids and the groceries, no one thinks I'm dating material!
I've decided to make the best of it, and do what I can to remedy the situation. If I can't go to the single guys, I'll bring them to me: online dating.
That's right, I'm looking for a boyfriend online. So far I've found some real perverts and just plain strange people. I've found some "okay" guys too, but recently...well...I think I've found the one. I'm so excited that I just wanted to share my discovery with all my friends, so here's a video of him:
Obviously, I'm kidding. My brother-in-law showed me this one today and I thought was too funny.
I've decided to make the best of it, and do what I can to remedy the situation. If I can't go to the single guys, I'll bring them to me: online dating.
That's right, I'm looking for a boyfriend online. So far I've found some real perverts and just plain strange people. I've found some "okay" guys too, but recently...well...I think I've found the one. I'm so excited that I just wanted to share my discovery with all my friends, so here's a video of him:
Obviously, I'm kidding. My brother-in-law showed me this one today and I thought was too funny.
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