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November 20, 2008

"Overdue Notice"

Checkout this hilarious exchange from http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2008/11/the_overdue_not.html (below). Thanks to Evan Exempt for posting a bulletin about this.

I laughed so hard I almost peed on myself. In these hard economic times, it's important to have a sense of humor; being in the financial industry myself (and also facing some difficulties in paying bills as well), I found this especially funny.

So, without further ado...

spider-2_ybnby.jpg



September 20, 2008

No wonder students have historically had a low voter turnout...

I nearly forgot how difficult it can be just to register in some places...
*******
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/08/education/08students.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=registrar%20students&st=cse&oref=slogin
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Voter Registration by Students Raises Cloud of Consequences
Published: September 7, 2008
The widespread practice of students' registering to vote at their college address has set off a fracas in Virginia, a battleground state in the presidential election.
Late last month, as a voter-registration drive by supporters of Senator Barack Obama was signing up thousands of students at Virginia Tech, the local registrar of elections issued two releases incorrectly suggesting a range of dire possibilities for students who registered to vote at their college.

The releases warned that such students could no longer be claimed as dependents on their parents' tax returns, a statement the Internal Revenue Service says is incorrect, and could lose scholarships or coverage under their parents' car and health insurance.

After some inquiries from students and parents, and more pointed questions from civil rights lawyers, the state board of elections said Friday that it was "modifying and clarifying" the state guidelines on which the county registrar had based his releases.
Student-registration controversies have been a recurring problem since 1971, when the 26st Amendment lowered the voting age to 18 from 21, and despite a 1979 ruling by the United States Supreme Court that students have the right to register at their college address.

Virginia is not the only state with murky guidelines. South Carolina's voter-registration site, for example, says students who want to register to vote at their college address must demonstrate "a present intention to remain in the community."

"There's no issue for snowbirds who live in Iowa but fly to Florida for the winter," said Sujatha Jahagirdar, program director of the Student Public Interest Research Group's New Voters Project. "One demographic group, like students, shouldn't have to overcome a special hurdle to vote. We impose all the responsibilities of citizenship on students, and we have to provide them with the privileges of citizenship, too."
Ms. Jahagirdar said Virginia's warnings were profoundly misleading. "We have been registering young voters for 25 years," she said. "We registered 500,000 young voters in 2004, the majority on college campuses, and we've never heard of a single one who lost health insurance, scholarship or tax status because of where they registered to vote."

In Virginia, the county registrar first issued an alarming release on Aug. 25, and two days later a slightly toned-down version using language taken directly from the state Board of Elections' Web site.

That site says students can determine their legal residence, but advises them to consider certain questions. "Are you claimed as a dependent on your parents' income tax return?" the site asks. "If you are, then their address is probably your legal residence."

The site also tells students to check whether their coverage under their parents' health or automobile insurance, or their scholarship, will be affected by changing their residence.

Civil rights lawyers say these guidelines are problematic and could infringe on students' rights.

"What the state Board of Elections has on its Web site, to me, sounds like it is discouraging students from registering at their school address," said Jon Greenbaum, director of the Voting Rights Project at the Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law.

Indeed, the Montgomery County registrar, E. Randall Wertz, said several students had canceled their local registration over their worry about the possible consequences. Mr. Wertz said he had issued the release to try to dispel confusion and explain what he believed to be the consequences of choosing a college address as a primary residence.

"My understanding of state law has been that by declaring you're voting here, you're saying this is your primary residence, your domicile, and that while you can have many abodes or residences, you can only have one domicile," Mr. Wertz said. "And if this is your primary residence, you have to register your vehicle here, charge your driver's license to here and so on. That's been the interpretation at state training sessions."

Kevin Griffis, the Obama campaign's Virginia spokesman, said the release appeared to be a good-faith effort to convey state guidelines, not a politically motivated effort to stop voting by students.

Mr. Wertz said the initial release had been written by an intern whom he asked to summarize the guidelines. Although the second release used the state's precise language, he said, it still left room for confusion. In other counties, registrars have refused to accept dormitory addresses as residences. But so far, the state has not set clear standards.

"Different registrars around the state interpret it differently," he said. "We've asked for more guidance from the state legislature, but they haven't wanted to deal with it."
Mr. Greenbaum's Voting Rights Project has been involved in other student-registration cases. Last fall, in Statesboro, Ga., in a hotly contested city council race, there were challenges to the registration of about 1,000 Georgia Southern University students who had used dormitory addresses. "We threatened suit, but the issue went away when they figured out that the challenges weren't going to affect the results of the election," Mr. Greenbaum said.

In 2003, in Waller County, Tex., the district attorney wrote a column in a local newspaper threatening to prosecute students at Prairie View A&M, a historically black university, for illegal voting. The project sued, and the district attorney backed down.

In the 1970s, that same county required Prairie View students who wanted to register to fill out a questionnaire asking, among other things, whether they owned property in the county, had an automobile registered there or belonged to any church, club or organization unrelated to the college. A challenge to that practice led the Supreme Court to uphold students' rights to vote at their college address.
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And now that I think about it, Michigan has its own shady rules. The Secretary of State here requires your Driver's License and Voter Registration cards to use the same address. Could pose a problem for all those college students...

July 17, 2008

Beer-Fueled Rantings

I don't have anything special to say. Just a retarded quiz that coincidentally labeled me as my favorite beer. Maybe that would've been more meaningful if it were a more unique one.


What's Your Beer Personality?


You Are Samuel Adams



You're fairly easy to please when it comes to beer - as long as it's not too cheap.

You tend to change favorite beers frequently, and you're the type most likely to take a "beers of the world" tour.

When you get drunk, you're fearless. You lose all your inhibitions.

You're just as likely to party with a group of strangers as you are to wake up in a very foreign place.




Now, here's a beer you might not have heard of:

From http://trayman.net.

http://www.weimax.com

Yep, that's one I don't see on the shelves up here too much.It was even fairly rare in Alabama. But my dad drank it when he was my age, and I wear my dad's Dixie Beer shirt while I drink a cold one from time to time (when I can find it) because it's from New Orleans -- just like me.

Oh, that reminds me. I finally got my Michigan Driver's License this week. But only barely. My New Orleans birth certificate is downright ancient, and I really had to pretend to "feel" the raised seal, but I finally convinced the poor gal she was crazy if she couldn't feel it too. I've been waiting for my new one since just after Katrina -- and God, I moved out of there 20 years before the damn thing hit and I still get screwed over! Of course, my suffering pales in comparison to even the most recent insults our government has thrust on these people.

Children could be scarred for life. That one speaks for itself, I think.

FEMA withheld supplies for hurricane victims, which then went to casinos. As if they don't have enough money already.

Poisoned in their new "homes" while they wait for assistance to rebuild their old homes -- and then they're told they have to pay that money back. And if you read that last article closely, you'll notice some interesting finance/accounting information. Like the fact that the company is essentially hitting up homeowners for the errors it made, which just so happens to be the same amount they have to repay to the state of Louisiana. Or the fact that that very contract award allowed the company to buy out several competitors, essentially creating a monopoly...

But enough of that. I don't really feel like getting into all the anger I feel over how my birthplace, a cultural center for our country, has been allowed to devolve into what it is today.

March 21, 2008

Because Easter is the Celebration of Zombies and Cannibalism

What better way to honor this holiest of Christian holidays than with a playlist? The official title is They Shall Rise Again (And I Don’t Mean the South!). But really: What better way to honor a man who raised the dead (and who came back from the dead himself) and commanded his followers to eat His Body and drink His Blood?




And good grief, before you start sending me hatemail, please note that I’m a Christian, too (though not an active churchgoer at the moment). I think it’s perfectly healthy to joke about your own faith. If God can’t have a sense of humor and laugh at himself/herself every now and then, then Screw Him (or Her).


http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e393/PlasticPilgrim/Zombie_Jesus.jpg

March 17, 2008

Excerpt From: Taking the Easy Way Out

For those of you who don’t know, the AP reported last week that a good bit of drinking water here in the US contains trace amounts of all kinds of different pharmaceuticals. People are taking these medications -- hormones, painkillers, antibiotics, anticonvulsives, vitamins, illegal drugs, etc -- and when they go to the bathroom, they pass on whatever amounts their bodies didn’t absorb. Government agencies don’t require water treatment plants to remove or even test for quantities of any of these drugs, so for the most part they don’t. The water is either flushed out to other bodies of water or recycled back to your drinking water (if your area uses water reclamation).

You might be tempted to think that because these are only trace amounts, they won’t hurt anything -- Right? Well, you could be making a grave mistake there, bucko. Research has only just begun on the long-term effects of minute exposure to some of these drugs over extended periods of time; some of these drugs continue to build up over time. And lets not get started on the effects of different combinations of drugs, or the threat this might pose to children, the elderly, and pregnant women. Or the super vitamin and hormone boosts we’re giving to sewer creatures. Those things are probably thriving on all this super water.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dd/Sewer_gator.jpg

And they’re plottin’ us too, I bet...


From http://www.freewebs.com.

...Just like those damn dolphins in The Simpsons (unfortunately, Fox disabled all the good clips of it)...

So, do you really think your Brita water pitcher is filtering out all the estrogen these menopausal women are taking? Is your bottled water really as pure as you think it is? Ha! I laugh at your ignorance. There’s no way your Brita pitcher is filtering all the crap the water treatment plant isn’t required to take care of. And -- I hate to burst your bubble, oh Cautious Health Nut -- but that bottled water comes straight from a tap (whose original source happens to be the beautiful spring or aquifer on the label), and isn’t any better than what you could’ve been getting practically for free; not to mention that you either hurt the environment with all that plastic waste, or if you reuse your bottle then it’s probably teeming with all sorts of bacteria right now, on top of the drugs I mentioned above. Even if you collect water from a well on your property or from some remote spring, it could be contaminated.

Even if these drugs are tested for in our water, this may not help us very much. In the first place, the EPA hasn’t set limits on what might be considered safe -- as much because there hasn’t been conclusive research on what’s safe or unsafe as it is the fact that the EPA doesn’t want to get involved in this yet. And the ones who do test aren’t likely to tell us the results. Of all things, they claim post 9/11 security reasons. Yet another way the "War on Terror" is being used against us.

January 8, 2008

Is That a Fetish in Your Pants, or are You Just Happy to See Me?

Few things irritate me more than someone who uses the wrong psychological disorder in an attempt to be clever. Sweetheart, you're not clever -- you're ignorant at best, but most likely I'm walking away with the general impression that you're a moron. Don't say schizophrenic when what you really mean is multiple personality disorder. For God's sake, if you want someone to think you're smart, don't continually interchange unrelated terms like schizophrenia with bipolar disorder.

And whatever you do, don't say you have a fetish when what you really mean is you have an unusual sexual proclivity; I talked to a guy a few weeks back who kept going on about this one particular "fetish" he had, and all I could do was keep reminding him what a fetish was, that he didn't actually have one, and that if he did it really wasn't something to brag about. A fetish is not a sign of your sexual prowess, talents, or virility. Fetishes are symptoms of a serious type of mental disorder.

Fetishism is diagnosed when you have a strong, and often uncontrollable, urge to fantasize about an object or include it in your sexual activities; often, you may be unable to perform at all without the item. Many of the activities you may think are abnormal are actually quite ordinary (in my opinion), but because discussing sex is so taboo, most of us are not aware of this.

Here are some general guidelines:

You like having sex in cars or in other "inappropriate" public places
If the occasional thrill of getting caught, or if being in the backseat of a 50s model car really gets your juices flowing, you might just be more adventurous than most. If your idea of a hot date is to have sex in a 1958 Cadillac convertible, and no other car will do, you might be a little too picky. But if you can't have sex at all unless you're in an automobile, or pretending to be in one, then yeah -- you have a fetish.

Body Parts
If you're an ass man, breast man, or you got turned on once when your girlfriend painted her toenails pink, you're a visual person, but that's ok. If the only thing that turns you on is the sight of her toes all dolled up, then maybe you should check this out.


Food
If you like including food in your activities, you're probably just creative. If you get really turned on by the thought of a popsicle, but have an otherwise normal sex life, you might want to get to know this guy. But if you find yourself uncontrollably drawn to the milkshake mixing machine at Burger King, please get help.

S&M
A little pain never hurt anyone, and some light bondage can be very liberating; but technically speaking, most people who seriously classify themselves as sadists or masochists are fetishists.

I hope this clears things up for some of you.

Please, don't detail your fetishes and/or unusual sexual proclivities to me. I don't really want to know you that well.

January 6, 2008

Some Advice

Never get Involved with a Married Man
(or Woman)


Unless you're married to them, in which case you should make it a point to get with them frequently -- intimacy is an important part of relationships, so don't get lazy! And if you're married, then don't get involved with someone you're not married to, 'cause you never know what that crazy bitch might do to get back at you when you go crawlin' back to your wife.

Don't Pick Your Nose too Hard

Once you hit brain, you can't go back.

Follow Your Heart

Unless it violates one of the aforementioned rules.



Well, that's all I have right now. Anyone have any suggestions?

January 3, 2008

I Found My Soulmate Online and You Can, Too!

Well, as a single mom I've learned that dating is tough. To make matters worse, since I take my classes online and don't have to leave my house to go to work, I don't get out much. Some weeks the only time I go out is to do my grocery shopping -- and trust me, when I'm juggling two kids and the groceries, no one thinks I'm dating material!

I've decided to make the best of it, and do what I can to remedy the situation. If I can't go to the single guys, I'll bring them to me: online dating.

That's right, I'm looking for a boyfriend online. So far I've found some real perverts and just plain strange people. I've found some "okay" guys too, but recently...well...I think I've found the one. I'm so excited that I just wanted to share my discovery with all my friends, so here's a video of him:




Obviously, I'm kidding. My brother-in-law showed me this one today and I thought was too funny.