I was at the checkout at my local grocery store the other day, when I experienced -- again -- the horror that is...modern-day bagging. I'm pretty sure baggers used to be trained -- and even took pride in -- the art of bagging groceries (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7080956).
Put frozen foods together. Don't squish the bread. Don't put raw meat and produce together. For the love of God, don't put all the cans in one bag (or at least double-bag it)!
Those are just a few of the rules I thought everyone knew about bagging groceries(http://scholar.lib.vt.edu/VA-news/VA-Pilot/issues/1996/vp960410/04100412.htm). Apparently, now that the checker is also usually the bagger, this kind of logic has gone out the window.
For everyone's convenience, and in an attempt to prevent these modern-day grocery faux pas, I sort my groceries as I load them onto the conveyor belt: all my perishables are grouped together, the meat and produce are kept separate, and the bread goes on last so it won't get squished (http://www.weeno.com/art/0799/95.html). My checker either has never been grocery shopping before (quite possible, as he looked relatively young and inexperienced), or has something against me: several boxes of frozen waffles were split up and mixed in with dry pasta; one condom-thin plastic bag was packed with cans and jars of pasta sauce until it split; the soy milk was packed on its side and crushed a few containers of yogurt; and my bread got squished.
As I walked through the parking lot to my car, I thought about how this episode ranked in relation to other changes in my life. Like the fact that I drive a minivan (like a bat outta hell, baby!). Or the fact that I don't spend all my weekends getting drunk...and stuff...and I don't really have a desire to anymore. Or the fact that I'm starting to think that people ought to take personal responsibility for things, and not wait for the government to do it for them; I might even be a Libertarian. I'm going to school to be an accountant. I don't like most new music, I don't follow the latest Hollywood Whorer stories (yes, I meant to do that), and I despise "reality" television. I think we ought to spend more resources on protecting the unborn citizens of our country, rather than on those folks who come here illegally. My hand gets a weird cramp-like feeling when I pick things up lately, and my joints (especially my knees) get really stiff when I sit too long -- I hope it's not arthritis. Thirteen year old girls show more cleavage than I do, and I'm tired of guys staring at my boobs or my ass: look a little higher -- I've got a whole lot more to offer up here!
I think I'm getting old. Or conservative. I'm not sure which is worse.
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